In your first chapter you clearly said he was 14 years old, and YEARS YOUNGER then his sister.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-11 12:43:50The sex parts are good. 26 comments«12345»Anonymous readerReport 2014-03-01 06:00:35u need to pay more attention to parts one and twoAnonymous readerReport 2014-01-26 00:33:34I agree age is now confusingdivinemarleyReport 2014-01-15 10:19:40wow. Indian XXX 26 comments«12345»Anonymous readerReport 2014-03-01 06:00:35u need to pay more attention to parts one and twoAnonymous readerReport 2014-01-26 00:33:34I agree age is now confusingdivinemarleyReport 2014-01-15 10:19:40wow. 26 comments«12345»Anonymous readerReport 2014-03-01 06:00:35u need to pay more attention to parts one and twoAnonymous readerReport 2014-01-26 00:33:34I agree age is now confusingdivinemarleyReport 2014-01-15 10:19:40wow. i like some of the action hereanonymous readerReport 2013-09-01 22:39:47I think you really need to pay better attention to your writing. You committed a MASSIVE continuity error. In your first chapter you clearly said he was 14 years old, and YEARS YOUNGER then his sister.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-11 12:43:50The sex parts are good. In your first chapter you clearly said he was 14 years old, and YEARS YOUNGER then his sister.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-11 12:43:50The sex parts are good. The story itself isn’t particularly well developed and some inconsistencies – for example, age of Jimmy in first part, then he and sister are twins in 2nd part.«12345» In your first chapter you clearly said he was 14 years old, and YEARS YOUNGER then his sister.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-11 12:43:50The sex parts are good.
