Some editing AND paragraphs would enhance the readers experience.anonymous readerReport 2012-11-30 00:38:26Just a suggestion. RE-WRITE WITH PARAGRAPSH OR DON’T POST!!!!!! Indian XXX 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-12-04 04:27:32THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NO PARAGRAPHS!!! im 14 and if yes comment “Yes to sex with the 14″and ill give u my phone number. …angiesloverReport 2012-11-30 21:55:43keep at it this is good story, editing and stuff will come lteranonymous readerReport 2012-11-30 14:46:07Good story. Quit switching back and forth between present and past tense.«12» 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-12-04 04:27:32THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NO PARAGRAPHS!!! 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-12-04 04:27:32THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NO PARAGRAPHS!!! I have to agree with most of the previous comments. I have to agree with most of the previous comments. Quit switching back and forth between present and past tense.«12» I WILL NOT READ A STORY WITHOUT PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!!anonymous readerReport 2012-12-03 00:23:07hey,,,,u want some more dick? RE-WRITE WITH PARAGRAPSH OR DON’T POST!!!!!! Quit switching back and forth between present and past tense.«12» Some editing AND paragraphs would enhance the readers experience.anonymous readerReport 2012-11-30 00:38:26Just a suggestion. TOO HARD TO READ!! I have to agree with most of the previous comments. RE-WRITE WITH PARAGRAPSH OR DON’T POST!!!!!! Quit switching back and forth between present and past tense.«12» im 14 and if yes comment “Yes to sex with the 14″and ill give u my phone number. …angiesloverReport 2012-11-30 21:55:43keep at it this is good story, editing and stuff will come lteranonymous readerReport 2012-11-30
